How To Always Make The Best Decisions

Hello! I know I said I would blog every other wednesday but with me being an eternal procrastinator and coupled with being extremely forgetful, well, I forgot...

As most of you know I am 6 months pregnant and this pregnancy has been slightly harder than the first. I have simply been a lot more tired. Looking after a 3-4 year old as well as carrying another human around means that you cannot nap when you want to or eat what you want or basically have the freedom to listen to your body and go with the flow. I wouldn't change it for the world though...she is my little buddy who is always happy to see my bump each day like it's the first time! She reminds me to be thankful :-)

However, I have returned with a plethora of subjects to write about that have been milling around my consciousness for months, some more thoughtful, spiritual and others more fun and humorous, and I cannot wait to get started!

So, we have group of people that meets at our place every wednesday evening. The are mainly our friends and some are friends of friends. We munch on snacks and intentionally discuss the meaning of life. I love our group. At one group this guy had a question, and needed some help...I gave him some advice which may be of use to one of you too. In fact I know it will....

He was having a terrible time with his mum. Like, really, really bad. She literally makes his life hell living at home. He is in his early 20s traveling back and forth to university, but the details don't matter. What mattered was his attitude. His reactions towards his overbearing and meany mum.

Now, do you ever find yourself giving advice and as it is coming out of your mouth you think...."How do I know that?!" or "I really think I'm talking to myself here!" I also occassionally realise that advice I am giving would not have come from my mouth a few weeks or months previously. I can often recall a situation I went through where I learnt something about myself, about God, about people and I became a better person for it. I feel each problem should be seen as a potential. Potential for bettering ourselves. Potential for God to show up and do something amazing! I digress...

He was really angry with his mother and we even found him saying things like "You know if I found out tomorrow that my parents were dead I wouldn't even cry, I wouldn't care." Ok now that's scary. There is no love there at all. No heart. No relationship. He said he was going to leave and get his own place (something he should have done when he left for uni anyway in my opinion). He talked about running away. He mentioned really telling his mum how she has made him feel but in an explosive and verbal attack rather than in a way that could bring resolution.

We knew it was right for him to move out from what we heard. Both were tired of each other and it would be what would save their relationship. At one point, however, I found myself turning to him and saying "If you move out of the house in anger, it's the wrong decision. If you move out in love, it's the right one, even though the end result is the same" I went on to tell him that when making right decisions, what matters is your heart and the reasons behind our decision making and very rarely the decision itself. Sounds bizarre right? Read on...

You see, when your heart is right towards the situation or the other person, then whether the decision you end up making doesn't work out it's still the best decision because you can still learn from it and you did your absolute best. NOTHING good comes from making decisions from anger or fear or hate. There is never anything to win there. All you are left with is mess to clear up. Believe me, I know, I've been there. If you know you need to confront someone and it is the right thing to do then make sure it is from a place of peace. If you hate them and you are angry, then even though

confronting them about their behaviour is the right thing to do, you shouldn't do it. Wait until you are at peace and can be calm. Your heart needs to be right. I told him that if I was in his shoes I would pray to have God's heart for my mother. It doesn't mean she will change, it doesn't mean that she will stop her behaviour (although that would be good too) but he will have made the decision from a place of peace, and that's the safest place to make decisions from.

Ok, now I'm not saying if you are at peace with killing someone then the consequences don't matter...I think you know I don't mean that :-) I am also not saying that the heart is where we make decisions from. However when we have a right heart then we can trust our mind, logic and emotions to make the best decision possible.

So in short, if your heart is in the right place then your decisions will be the best you can make. Maybe not right or the most suitable in the long run because hindsight is a great thing, but aren't we all learning anyway? You can say you did your best at the time with what you knew at the time and with your heart in the right place.

May you all go on to make excellent decisions with healthy, peaceful hearts!